You Are My Sunshine (Klance)
by historyrepeatsitself
Summary: Keith and Lance are stranded after a fight with the Galra. Keith is badly injured and Lance is fighting to try and keep Keith alive. (We had a bonding moment, I cradled you in my arms p2) (Rated T for extreme injury/blood/character death/also a very sad song)
1. Chapter 1

**_yo quick an: so basically this is a really angsty drabble i wrote, it's not entirely done because i got the idea from my gf and this first part is kinda just me making everything way more hurt/comforty than it really needed to be. I won't spoil it but there are some mentions of blood and previous violence. also, credit to the original composers of "you are my sunshine" for the lyrics and title, Jimmie Davis and Charles Mitchell. it's actually really hard to just search "you are my sunshine" and find the original there are so many copies. but here we go:_**

 ** _You Are My Sunshine_**

 _"_ _Lance?" he breathed, his voice barely above a whisper, "Lance? Lance are you there?" he was gasping for breath now. He prayed Lance was still alive and that he was okay. His eyelids felt heavy, he wanted to close them, to sleep for an eternity. His entire body burned, he wanted to sleep, but he needed Lance to be okay. "Lance?" Keith gasped, his body convulsed as he choked and felt a thick warm liquid spill out of his mouth. He realized it was blood, his blood. He cried out again in desperation, "Lance!"_

 _But there was no reply._

 _…_

Lance could smell the remains of the battle. Dust choked him as he took a breath, his throat burning. He could smell the sickening scent of blood and guts that hung over what was left of the Galra fortress. He shifted and pushed himself upwards, groaning from the burning sensation in his ribs. He looked around, his entire body felt stiff and sore, Lance wondered how long he'd been out. He looked upward intending to determine whether it was night or day before remembering that he was no longer on Earth. He was almost dazed as he looked up at the pitch-black sky above him. The smell of the blood seemed unreal, the whole battle seemed unreal, any moment now he would wake up at the Garrison and- "Lance!"

Lance's feeling of being in a daydream abruptly stopped. That was Keith, the voice was Keith. Lance tried to remember what had happened, he'd be knocked down, he'd taken a shot, Keith had come and…Lance couldn't remember. "Keith!" Lance shouted, trying to locate where he'd heard Keith from. "Keith!" he shouted again, but there was silence. Lance began to worry; Keith's voice had sounded weak when Lance had heard it. Was he injured? Lance felt a cold sweat consume him at the thought, "Keith!" he screamed louder than before, "Keith!" panic was creeping into his voice. "Keith!" Lance shook as he tried to force his heart to beat in a normal rhythm. His chest felt heavy, he thought he almost had to remind himself to breath. It was like the wind was knocked out of him. He tried to force breath after breath, but his lungs wouldn't respond. The breaths he took in were useless, his heart was beating too hard, Lance feared it might burst. Was he dying? Could he be dying? Where was Keith? Lance slumped to the ground, gasping for breath.

…

"Lance…" the voice was faint but Lance just caught it above his own breaths. The weight on his chest seemed to decrease a little.

"Keith?" he asked, looking around. He searched the damaged terrain until he saw a hand among the rubble, it was disguised with the dust that covered it but Lance could make out the black paladin armor. "Keith!" he yelled as he rushed over to where he presumed Keith lay. It looked as though part of the Galra fortress had collapsed on the boy leaving him prone beneath the rocks. Lance felt a shot of adrenaline rush through him, he gripped the rocks and tried his best to move them aside. His muscles strained as he pushed and pulled at the rubble, but eventually he removed the majority of it from Keith.

Lance looked down at the paladin, Keith looked pale, he right leg was bent at an unnatural angle telling Lance that it was broken. His face was bloody, his lip was bleeding and a trail of blood leaked from his nose. His left eye was black and he had a nasty scrape across his forehead, but what concerned Lance the most was Keith's torso. His armor was cracked and soaked with blood, there was a hole directly through his armor right above his heart. Lance froze when he saw it. Keith was still conscious but barely. He needed help, Lance could see that Keith wouldn't make it very long without proper medical care. He swallowed and bent down next to Keith. "Hey," he said quietly.

"Hey," a faint smile crossed Keith's face, "You okay?"

"Yeah," Lance replied though he couldn't bring himself to return the question. "It'll be okay," Lance whispered instead.

"Yeah," Keith mumbled, "It'll be okay." His voice slurred towards the end and Lance felt a pang in his chest.

"Thank you," Lance murmured.

"For what?" Keith asked, his voice fainter than before.

"You came to help didn't you, you saved me."

Keith shrugged, "Why wouldn't I?"

"I don't know, I just didn't think…" Lance trailed off.

"You didn't think that anyone cared? Lance, we all care, I care. You're a paladin of Voltron," mumbled Keith.

Lance smiled, "Hey, maybe it's my turn to cradle you in my arms."

"I knew you remembered that," Keith laughed weakly.

"'We had a bonding moment! I cradled you in my arms!'" Lance mocked jokingly.

Keith smiled up at him, it was subtle but his lips curves upward ever so slightly and Lance saw his eyes soften. He'd never really looked at them before, they were dark but Lance had never realized how he could see the slivers of violet in them. They were like the sky after the sun had just disappeared over the horizon. "Lance?" Keith's voice broke his trance, "what are you doing?"

Lance blushed, "Nothing."

They were both silent for a minute, "I tried to contact the rest of the paladins, but there was uh-they didn't respond, I don't know if we can reach them," Said Lance quietly.

"Oh…" mumbled Keith, "It'll be okay though, right?" Keith's voice suddenly sounded much more childish than it had a second ago. Lance could hear the vulnerability and weakness in his voice.

"Yeah," said Lance, "Yeah it'll be okay."

"Are you sure?" asked Keith weakly, Lance worried that he was growing fainter by the minute.

"Yeah, I'm sure," but Lance knew he was lying. He needed to find some way to care of Keith but he had no bandages and Keith was losing blood fast.

"Lance?"

"What?"

"Please don't lie about it."

"What do you mean?"

"Look my chest really hurts and I think I got hit and there's blood everywhere…" Keith looked like he was going to cry. Lance was always so used to seeing Keith so cold and emotionless, the boy in front of him was almost a stranger. But he wasn't a stranger because he was Keith and he was right. Keith was almost always right.

Lance hesitated, "Okay I don't know, Keith. You've got a really bad cut in your chest, and your right leg looks broken, and I think some of your ribs are too. But we just need the other paladins to answer, okay? They'll answer and they'll help us, you're going to be okay."

Keith nodded but Lance could see that he was ever worse than before. His skin was so pale, Lance swore he could see Keith's bones. The only color on Keith's body was the blood leaking out of his armor. Lance needed to do something.

…

He eventually worked the chest piece of the armor off Keith and managed to use some fabric from his own shirt to try and stop the bleeding. He worried about Keith's leg too, and with Keith's ragged breaths, Lance worried one his Keith's ribs could be puncturing his lungs too. Lance just needed the other paladins to come, he sent out a distress signal and everything. He tried to COMM them over and over again but each time there was no answer.

…

"Lance?" Keith asked, his voice quiet.

"Yeah?"

"I just wanted to make sure you were still there…" said Keith, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Yeah," said Lance, "I'm not going anywhere." He carefully placed his arm under Keith's head and lifted the paladin up until Lance was holding him. He saw a faint smile flash across Keith's face.

Lance could feel Keith's hampered breathing against his chest, he looked upward and found a sky full of stars above him. Lance felt a small smile cross his face, back on Earth he could remember sitting on the roof of his house and watching the stars all night. Of course, he didn't recognize any of the stars way out here, didn't know of any constellations but still looking at the stars made this strange wave of calm wash over him. Perhaps it made him think of home or maybe he just liked the view, but he felt calmer.

…

 _Lance was six, he was sitting in his mother's lap with his arms wrapped around her neck. He could hear his older siblings still downstairs but he was tired. He could hear his mother's steady heartbeat, her breathing, in and out. And he could see the stars. A great glistening galaxy awaited him. He was going to go there, he was sure of it. Lance watched as a shooting star flew across the sky in a perfect arc. He watched as another one came, and another. He felt his mother kiss his forehead as he watched in awe of the meteors shooting across the sky._

 _Then he heard his mother's voice, it was soft at first but then louder._

 _"_ _You are my sunshine. My only sunshine  
You make me happy when skies are gray.  
You'll never know dear, how much I love you."_

 _Lance turned his head towards his mother and smiled. She returned the smile. Then Lance turned back towards the meteors. "I love you mijo," she said._

 _"_ _I love you too, mamma," Six-year-old Lance replied._

…

Lance heard his own voice, but he didn't even realize he was singing. He was signing the same song his mom used to sing before he went to bed.

 _"_ _You are my sunshine. My only sunshine  
You make me happy when skies are grey.  
You'll never know dear, how much I love you."_

Lance's voice cracked, the song had never had meaning until now. Lance still didn't know why he was singing, his voice wasn't as sweet as it had been the last time he'd sang and Lance realized that it had been a long time. His voice slipped over the notes but now it stopped. Lance's voice cracked, he couldn't bring himself to sing the line. Then heard another voice replace his, a weaker voice but a voice trying to gain strength.

 _"_ _Please don't take my sunshine away.  
The other night dear, when I lay sleeping  
I dreamed I held you in my arms  
When I awoke, dear, I was mistaken"_

Lance finally brought himself to sing another line,

 _"_ _So, I hung my head and cried."_

Then he heard their voices join together,

 _"_ _You are my sunshine. My only sunshine  
You make me happy when skies are grey.  
You'll never know dear, how much I love you."_

Keith's voice was barely audible, but there was no one there to hear them anyway.

 _"_ _Please don't take my sunshine away."_

Lance sang the last line before he realized he could no long hear Keith's voice at all. He looked down and Keith's eyes were barely open. "Keith?" he said worriedly, "Keith?"

Keith smiled faintly,

"Please don't take my sunshine away," Keith murmured.

Lance bent down until his face was directly above Keith's, their lips parallel. He looked down into Keith's eyes, their color seemed to have faded and they were almost a violet now. Lance blinked and Keith closed the distance. Their lips met perfectly, and Lance could feel Keith's breath against his. Lance wanted the kiss to last forever, he wanted for this moment to last forever. He didn't want to face the reality of what might happen next.

But then the kiss ended.

Lance felt Keith break away, he wanted to go in and kiss again but Keith's eyes were closed, his skin was pale, and to Lance's horror his breathing had stopped. Lance was frozen, his entire was a statue except for his lips. He was locked in time, Keith's body in his arms. Keith's blood staining his armor.

 _"_ _Please don't take my sunshine away."_


	2. Chapter 2

**okay hey guys we're back with chapter 2! this was actually really quick (especially for me :P). anyway, tbh i really like the first chapter but im not as much of a fan of this one but its alright. i got around to the lance going crazy angst my gf wanted me to write so we're good there. tbh its not exactly my forte but it'll do. it was an interesting point to write from anyway.**

 **btw thank you for the nice reviews, Seiun! Also thanks to everyone else for giving me a few favorites and follows! seriously, it makes my day to get emails saying you guys enjoyed my crackpot writing!**

 **there is minor swearing in this one and more blood mentions as well as violence (just a fist fight though) so beware :P**

* * *

 **You Are My Sunshine Chapter 2**

"Lance! Keith!" Pidge shouted into the castle's COMM unit, "Guys come in! Where are you?" she shouted again.

"Any response?" asked Hunk, his forehead was creased in concern and he was fiddling with his thumbs.

"No," mumbled Pidge, "I'm worried."

…

Lance could feel the hot tears streaming down his face. He wasn't even aware he was crying until he felt the hot liquid streaming down his cheeks. His eyes seemed to have turned into two waterfalls, an endless spill of tears leaking from each. It wasn't the kind of messy crying and screaming he had expected, it was the wordless, emotionless tears that flowed down his cheeks like blood from a wound. Lance was unsure of how much time had passed from the moment Keith had died. He still sat in the same spot, Keith's body in his arms, Keith's blood staining the ground around them. Their helmets remained silent, their lions were nowhere to be seen, Lance wondering if they'd been destroyed or simply didn't deem what had happened important. Perhaps they would just get new paladins. That thought made Lance sick. Keith was the black paladin, which made Lance the new black paladin, Lance was the new leader of Voltron.

He felt his stomach turn over, he had no right to lead Voltron. Keith wasn't really gone, he couldn't be. Keith was never gone. Keith was always fine, he would lead Voltron, not Lance. Lance could not be left with this burden. He would not be left with Voltron.

All of a sudden, Lance was angry, he was furious. He was furious that the lions were not there to help, he was furious with the other paladins for not being able to trace their signal, he was furious with himself for letting Keith die. And perhaps most preposterous of all, he was furious with Keith for taking a shot, he was furious that Keith had done this. It should be Lance. It would've been Lance. Lance was replaceable, he was the red paladin, he could step aside. Shiro could've had Black, Keith could've gone back to Red and no one would notice Lance was missing. Allura was better with Blue anyway.

Lance felt his breaths become heavier, he felt his chest compacting and his lungs struggled to take in the air. Keith was gone. The thought spun through his head, ricocheting off the walls of his mind. He sat there, the weight of Keith's body weighing down on his arms making them stiff and sore, but he was still unable to move them. He was frozen in place. The broken fortress in front of him was shifting in and out of his vision. The purple light swayed in front of him. His entire body was screaming for air, yelling for release from the weight that was crushing him. Keith was gone.

Keith was gone.

Keith.

Keith.

Keith.

Keith…

Oh god, Keith was gone.

Gone…

…

"Lance!" Shiro yelled as he saw the figure in red crouching in the rubble. The figure offered no response to his shout, but Shiro noted that he could see blood around the paladin, Shiro prayed it wasn't Lance's. His eyes scanned the terrain but he didn't see Keith, though Lance was looking downward, Shiro hoped that he wasn't looking down at Keith's body.

"Shiro!" Shiro turned as Allura stepped forward. She was still wearing her blue paladin armor which was dirty and smudged with blood, but otherwise, she was unharmed, though her brow was creased in concern.

"Yes, Princess?" Shiro questioned, his heartbeat racing as he prepared himself for tumultuous news.

"Shiro…it's Keith," her voice trailed off and she looked down as she said his name. Shiro's heart dropped. He could hear his heartbeat echoing around his body, thumping against his eardrums but he forced himself to keep a straight face.

"What happened?"

Allura hesitated, "We're not sure. Uh-Pidge and Hunk were finally able to connect to the vitals on their suits and…we're not getting a reading from Keith's." She paused to look up into Shiro's face to try and gauge his reaction before continuing, "It's entirely possible the sensors have become dislodged but…" Allura didn't verbally finish her sentence but the unsaid words hung thick in the air.

Shiro nodded in response, "Thank you for-for altering me, Princess," he nodded curtly, and Allura returned the gesture though Shiro could see how worried she was and he was sure she could see the same in his face.

…

Lance heard his name drift across the ruined fortress. He tried to bring himself to look up to where it was being shouted from but somehow, he couldn't draw his eyes away from Keith's body. "Lance!" came the shout again, "Lance!" it was getting closer. "Lance!"

Lance recognized the voice, Shiro. Lance tore his eyes away from Keith and looked up to where he could see the green lion crouched over the fortress. Shiro was running towards him, behind him Lance could see Pidge standing in front of her lion. She was fairly far away but he could see the grim look on her face. Shiro's face was written with panic as he raced towards Lance. It was clear that neither of them could see Keith from their viewpoint. His body must've been obstructed by rubble.

Shiro raced towards Lance and paused just as he cleared the rubble that was in front of him and Keith. Shiro's eyes widened as he looked down and saw Keith. He stayed frozen for a shorter time than Lance though and quickly bent down and knelt in front of Lance. "Lance…" whispered Shiro as his eyes stayed fixed on Keith's body. "Lance, what happened?"

Lance opened his mouth to respond but froze as he tried to explain. He didn't want to explain. He was angry. Why come now? Why had the other paladins come now? If they'd been sooner they could've saved Keith. How dare Shiro ask what happened! What had happened was that Keith was dead because no one came to help them! How dare Shiro be concerned! This was his fault! The words screamed in Lance's head.

 _This is Shiro's fault! The other paladins' fault! Keith was dead because they didn't come. If they really cared they would've been here! Keith was dead because they didn't come!_

 _Keith was dead!_

 _Keith is dead._

Lance felt the rage consume him. He felt his body light with a strange fire, a fire he'd never felt before. They had done this. They had done this to Keith. Now they wanted to act like they'd been there helping. No. No. No.

Shiro reached out to try and grasp Lance's shoulder to pull him out of his trance. "Lance?" he asked, his voice was soft and worried, "Lance are you okay?" Lance didn't respond, he stared down at Keith, desperately trying to suppress the rage that was threatening to consume him. "Lance, we should go back to the castle, you're injured," Shiro's grip on Lance's shoulder tightened and Lance felt Shiro try to pull him up but Lance resisted. "Lance?" asked Shiro more concerned now.

"NO!" Lance shrieked suddenly, "NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!"

"Lance!" yelled Shiro, "Lance it's me, Lance!"

"Get away from me! Get away from Keith!" Lance screamed, his lungs were burning but he kept yelling.

"Lance, I'm trying to help, please!"

"No!" yelled Lance, "You want to help? You should've been here! You should've been here to help when Keith was dying!"

"Lance, I was trying, we couldn't find you, we—" Lance cut Shiro off,

"That's bullshit! You didn't want to be here! None of you did! None of you cared! Not one of you! It was just me! He died alone! Keith is dead because of YOU!" Lance screamed. Shiro looked taken aback,

"Lance stop we would've been here, we would've helped. We just couldn't get there. Lance, we tried, we really did, we just…"

"No! No, you didn't try! If you tried you would've been here! You weren't here!" Lance shrieked. Shiro reached out grasp Keith, trying to pull him out of Lance's arms but Lance resisted. He stood up and shoved Shiro away. "Get away from him!" Lance howled.

"Lance," Shiro put his hands up in the air as a sign of surrender, "Lance I don't want to fight you,"

"Then don't!" screamed Lance, "Get away!"

"No, Lance, you and Keith need to come to the castle, we can help."

"Help? Help? You think you can help? Keith is dead!" Lance hollered.

"Lance give him to me," snapped Shiro, his voice hardening.

"No!" screamed Lance. Shiro took a step forward, still with his hands in the air. Lance lunged, he threw Keith to the ground and raced at Shiro.

Shiro ducked Lance's first punch but the second caught him square in the jaw. Shiro tried to grab Lance's right hand but Lance aimed a well-placed kick into Shiro's knee and Shiro released Lance's hand. Lance aimed another blow into Shiro's jaw. His lungs felt like they might burst as he fought. He knew Shiro was barely fighting him but Lance didn't care. All he wanted to do was fight. All he wanted to do was make Shiro hurt the same way Keith had hurt. Lance screamed as he fought, he kicked harder than he'd ever kicked. He was unsure of how he managed to fight due to the soreness in his body, but the adrenaline was giving him an unnatural boost.

Lance kicked and punched and even clawed at Shiro. He fought like a rabid animal determined to protect his property. He lost all thought, all conscious inhibition slipped away, and Lance was locked in a world of red. A world of anger, a world of hate.

…

Pidge ran towards the fight, she knew Shiro could handle himself if he needed to, but at this point, she wasn't sure he would try. She quickly loaded her Bayard and raced towards where Lance was attempting to strangle Shiro. She jumped up behind him and sent a shock wave through him. Lance trembled for a minute before falling limp at their feet.

Shiro looked shocked. His eyes were as wide as saucers, he was out of breath but not from the fight. Pidge too felt her stomach clench when she looked down to see Keith lying next to Lance at their feet. She blinked as she felt warm tears come to eyes. Keith was gone. It was obvious that was no pulse and no breath whistled through him. His body was cold, too cold. It wasn't the kind of "put on another blanket cold." It was cold of death, the cold of the reality that Pidge was never going to see Keith alive again. The cold that Pidge was never going to hear his voice, or see his smile, or hear him and Lance argue again. She was never going to tease him about dropping out of the Garrison and groan when he refused to answer as to what he did. She was never going to make another stupid conspiracy theory with him again. She was never going to watch another movie, have another conversation, eat another team dinner with again. Keith was gone.

And when Pidge looked up, she knew Shiro was thinking the same thing.


	3. Chapter 3

**yo guys so this is the final chapter (unless i think of something else lol) of this fanfiction. my hs finally started and im getting my butt kicked on the first day with hw from 4 classes so im gonna be kinda inconsistant on here. however, if you want to suggest fics or something like that for me to write feel free to contact me and ill do my best to get around to certain suggestions. also my editing program is acting up so i apologize for any typos ill try and edit them if i have time.**

 **anyway, here's chapter 3!**

* * *

 **You are my Sunshine- Chapter 3**

They were heading home. Two months ago, that sentence would've brought a smile so large to Lance's face he wasn't even sure it would fit. Now, however, it didn't even seem real. Shiro had announced it at breakfast that morning saying that the team deserved a break and some time back with their families.

Two months ago, Lance had missed his family so bad it hurt, two months ago, every time Lance thought about hugging his mother he got a stabbing pain in his stomach. Two months ago, every time Lance thought about his father's warm arms a hot iron had seared through him. Two months ago, Lance had thought about his countless siblings and felt like his might faint for fear he might never see them again. But now those two months had passed.

Now, Lance didn't know if he wanted to see his family. Lance wasn't sure if they would want to see him. He was no longer the boy that had left Earth, and he knew that. He was no longer the boy who wanted to go to space. He was no longer the cheeky boy who flirted with alien girls and pretended he was the greatest sharpshooter. He was the man that had hardly left his room aside from meals when Pidge came to drag him out. He was the man that hardly spoke. He was the man who hadn't look in a mirror in so long he wasn't even sure what he really looked like. Every time he looked in the mirror he was Keith's body in his arms. He was Keith's blood on his shirt. He saw the hands that had tried to strangle Shiro. He saw the fingers that had tried to claw his own eyes out. He saw the man he hated more than ever before for letting Keith die.

Lance used to sing. He used to sing all the time. He used to be kind of person who would sing in the shower using the shampoo as a microphone. He used to hum as he strolled down the halls. He used to whistle while he did training exercises. He used to teach Hunk old Spanish duets that they would sing as they worked in the kitchen. He used to belt the lyrics to bad pop songs at Pidge while she worked on one of her inventions. He used to sing the ones she hated the worst until eventually, she joined in. The two used to stroll around the halls singing until Keith started throwing things and someone had to visit the med-bay. Lance realized that the last song he had sung had been the one with Keith. He realized the last words he had sung before his silence had been to Keith as he died.

"Please don't take my sunshine away," the words he had spoken seemed so stupid now. Sung, he had sung as Keith died. Keith had been dying and Lance had started singing. Lance mentally cursed himself, how stupid. He had been singing. What kind of a person sung when someone was dying in their arms?

Lance did. Lance sang. He'd always sung. His mom used to smile whenever Lance would sing. Lance used to sing for his siblings, he used to hold concerts and performs duets with them. Lance's parents had attended every single show and listened to every single time they sang Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Lance used to sing.

He closed his eyes. The pillow beneath him was cold as he laid down. The clock on his wall said it was three in the afternoon by Earth time but Lance didn't care. Time was irrelevant. He just wanted to close his eyes. He just wanted to close his eyes and let the world slip away from him. He just wanted to sleep for an eternity. He didn't want to think about Keith or his family. He just wanted to sleep.

But Lance knew he couldn't. He couldn't sleep. He couldn't even close his eyes because every time he did he could see Keith's body in his arms. Lance laid on the bed for a couple minute before forcing himself to get up. He was going home. Lance was going home.

He should be happy. The old Lance would've been happy. He needed to be happy for his family. He needed to be happy. He needed to be the Old Lance. Lance forced himself to get out of bed and head towards the bathroom in the corner of his room. He forced himself to step through and closed the door behind him. He forced himself to turn towards the large mirror that lined the wall to the right and take in the man that stood before him. The man was scruffy looking, his hair was longer than Lance had remembered. He was skinnier too, as though he had hardly eaten, which Lance realized he hadn't. Even though Pidge forced him to attend meals, he tended to leave most of his food untouched.

The man in the mirror looked tired, so tired. There were dark circles under his eyes, but most of his wounds from the war had healed. Aside from a cut that ran down his face, cutting across his left eyebrow, his wounds were almost all healed. Lance noticed that the man needed a bit of a shave too. He almost laughed, last time he had been on Earth he had been a mere teenager. Now he was an adult, a man, a man who needed to shave. Lance let a faint chuckle slip past his lips. It wasn't really funny, Lance just found himself a bit hysterical. He laughed harder, the chuckle grew and grew until it was a full-blown fit of laughter. Lance quaked under the burst of laughter, his ribs straining. It was strange to laugh after so long, especially at something so stupid.

Once Lance had recovered from his hysteria, he slipped his shirt off, immediately noticing how prominent his ribs were. There were still slightly bruised from when they had been broken but were otherwise mostly healed. Lance carefully removed the rest of his clothes a walked towards the shower. He turned the water on and stepped in, completely disregarding it's burning hot temperature. Lance stood there for a moment letting the warm water run across his body. It felt strangely good to take a shower after so long. It was as though he was finally washing Keith's blood off him, finally washing off the dirt from the battle even though that had been scrubbed away long ago.

Lance began applying the shampoo, the warm bubbles created a foam that washed down his body. He closed his eyes letting the feeling wash over him as he stood in the shower the steam enveloping the room. Lance smiled ever so slightly, for a moment letting the horrible memory of the battle slip from his mind, for a moment he let Keith be alive and well in another part of the castle, for a moment he let himself be okay.

…

Lance stood there for a long while, he wasn't exactly lost in thought because he wasn't really thinking. But he supposed he was just contemplating everything. Perhaps he had finally reached acceptance in the 5 stages of grief. He could feel the water burning his skin, it was so hot it almost felt like a shower of glass shards raining down upon him. But Lance just continued to stand there, letting the water wash over him.

Then a strange thought struck him. He used to sing in the shower, if he was going home he needed to sing in the shower. Lance needed to get his voice back. He wasn't quite sure what made him decide this, he wasn't quite sure why all of a sudden, he was so determined to pull himself out of the ditch he had crawled into when only a day earlier he could've cared less. Lance opened his mouth unsure of what to sing and then it came to him. His voice croaked terribly on the first couple notes and he grimaced but he kept going. His voice reverberating off the walls of the shower, echoing over the sound of the pounding water.

 _"Estrellita, ¿dónde estás?  
Quiero verte cintilar  
en el cielo, sobre el mar.  
Un diamante de verdad.  
Estrellita, ¿dónde estás?  
Quiero verte cintilar."_

He realized just how long it had been since he'd spoken his native language. His accent was surprisingly terrible and he voice cracked terribly at the high notes but he was singing. He was singing again and this time Keith wasn't dying in his arms because right now, Keith was alive and well in the castle. Keith was happy, warm, and safe.

"Okay," Lance thought, speaking aloud to himself, his voice still slightly hoarse, "maybe I haven't reached acceptance, but at least I'm finally in denial."

…

Lance couldn't go back to Garrison, he couldn't walk through those halls again. He didn't want to go to space anymore. His mother worried about him, she questioned him for hours after his return and even more after that. She asked how he wound up as a paladin of Voltron and how he liked space and being a pilot. He did his best to respond with his old swagger, telling her about how he was the team sharpshooter. But then, of course, she asked if he ever got himself a girlfriend and Lance's entire body went numb. He wanted to tell her that he had countless girlfriends and that girls loved him and he was a real ladies man but he couldn't open his mouth. His couldn't speak about the girls, all he could think about was Keith. How Keith had died in his arms. But no, Keith had to be alive because Lance needed him to be. Lance silently swore to himself that he would never flirt with anyone else if Keith was still alive, but he knew it wouldn't matter. "No," Lance finally said, "I-I didn't really meet anyone."

His mother cocked an eyebrow, "Lance…I know you've been through a lot, are you okay?" Her voice was soft but Lance could still hardly breathe.

"Yeah, no, I'm fine."

"Lance," she reached out and gripped his hand, "Lance I know about the paladin you lost…" she trailed off, growing hesitant at his face. She waited for him to confirm but Lance offered no reply so she continued hesitantly, "It was the Red Paladin, wasn't it? You were close."

Lance looked up at her, his shoulders were slumped and he was slouched on the couch. He eventually nodded numbly, "Yeah," he mumbled, "Keith and I were…" he couldn't bring himself to finish the sentence as he saw the kiss in his mind's eye. He felt Keith's lips against his and for a second he was back on the battle field. He closed his eyes and opened them again, finding himself in his living room once again. As he looked at his mom she seemed to know. He felt tears to come to his eyes, "I liked Keith," he said weakly, it occurred to him that this was the first time that he had said those words aloud. He blinked and felt his mother's arms fold around him. A sob wracked through his body, he tried to hold it back he couldn't. His entire body shook, his lungs struggling for water. His eyes burning as hot wet tears leaked from his eyes.

He felt another pair of arms join the hug and recognized them as his fathers. He felt his father's stubbly chin scratch against his head and for a moment he was a little kid again. He was a little kid in his parent's arms after having just woken up after a terrible nightmare.

A terrible, terrible nightmare.

That's all it ever was.


End file.
